Pretty good for a quadriped

I got tagged for a photo thingy by Sassy Pants Freckle Face.

I was instructed to select my first photo album and choose the 10th picture, I do believe. Well, here's what I got:


I took this picture in the parking lot of my grocery store after I finished my shopping. I recall being amused by it because I thought it looked like the dog was driving.

It really doesn't take that much to entertain me.

Clearly.

Wow... this is awkward...

Okay, so I was gone for a long time and I could pretend I had a really good reason and tell you it'll never happen again but I didn't and it will.

Umm... still friends?

Wanna pretend like it never happened?

Me too.

So, I hate chain letters.

I hate them like fat-free cheese and Splenda.

A friend of mine (or so I thought) tried to give me one last week. Like, a real piece of paper in an envelope.

When she handed it to me, she was smiling but quickly said, "I'm sorry!"

I looked at it, looked at her and then said rather accusingly, "This is a chain letter."

"No, it's not! You just have to send this letter to six other people and mail a lottery ticket to the address provided!" (I can't make this shit up.)

I can't think of any six people I hate nearly enough to whom I would do that.

I said, "Whose address is this?"

"My grandma's."

"Look dude, I don't want to do this. I hate this shit."

"But then my grandma won't get her lottery ticket!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Then, I had an epiphany. "Okay, what if I just send your grandma the lottery ticket and give you back the letter? That way, she gets her ticket and I'm not annoyed. Everybody wins!"

She didn't like that.

In the end, my friend was not happy with me because I refused to be annoyed or alienate six people who could potentially give me a kidney someday.

I mean, why burn bridges, right?

This all boils down to the power of saying NO!

I am friends with many people who do not know how to do this. Culturally speaking, the region where I live hosts a polite, acquiescing people. They are hard-wired agree to anything, whereas I was taught that it's okay to refuse.

And now... I feel stronger, more powerful!

I feel like a two-year old in a grocery store who has just discovered she can refuse when her mom tells her to put the candy down.

NO!

I'm totally drunk with power.

Does anyone else have trouble saying no? Or perhaps relishes it a little too much?

I've got the black lung, Pop!

I have acquired the plague.

Or a head cold.

But definitely one of the two.

Have you ever noticed that people get over their sicknesses differently?

You have those that just want to burrow under 7 blankets, watch TV and go in and out of consciousness.

You also have those that, while they may stay home, they are not sitting down. They are paying bills online, balancing checkbooks, folding laundry and cleaning the gutters.

Last of all, you have the social healers. These are people that feed off the energy of others. They choose to power on through the funk.

I am a burrower. I think most Moms fall in the second category. The social healers are the ones that kill me.

The last thing I want to do when I'm sick is be forced to be social, presentable or, worst of all, pleasant.

When I'm sick, I want to whine, bitch, moan and wallow. It's one of the few times it's allowed and I personally savor it.

The worst thing in the world is when all you want to do is sleep and die but you have a friend who says, "Oh, I'm sick, too. Wanna go to a party tonight?"

This person may very well be just as sick as you, but does not understand why you're being such a baby about it.

I think it's very important that someday I locate me a strapping, burly gentleman who lets me make forts out of blankets and pillows on the couch, while eating box after box of Mac 'n Cheese.

Just a thought I had.